What is Anxiety

This is a post that is part of a series of posts that I promissed to write about. It is about my history in trying to stop my anxiety. This post will discribe the environment which led to the first attack. I am not sure if it was an axiety attack. Read on and you will see what I am talking about.

I can remember that I had a hidden objective of making everybody around me happy of my actions. Even when I wanted to rebel I would do it on my own without having anybody notice my rebelious actions. I would feel extremely guilty of caused any anger to anyone around me. 

I can safely say that I was an extremely obedient child and even teenager. That does not mean that I did not do stuff that my parents would not approve. Yet I would try my best to do those things without affecting the well being of anybody around me. I would do things trying as much as possible to bear the concequences on my own. That was not a consious decision. That was my autopilot that I analysed later on in my life.

During those childhood and teenage years I would have the feeling that many people experience. When I suddenly stand up I would feel dizzy, but sometimes the event will be harsh enough to make my legs shake that I would have to lean on something because my knees would not hold me.

My third year at university was a very active one. I was part of two student clubs and my academic performance was a priority as well. My social life was extremely active as well. I had enormous fun, but balancing all these within a 24 hour day was not easy. Still I was young and full of energy. It seems that my body did not think so. Without noticing I have pushed the limits of what my system can handle.

Bad sleeping and eating habbits, in addition to all the work that had to do and the partying worked their majic after the end of the third year.

When I was back home during the summer vacation, a couple of my friends from college visited me at my parents’ house. When they were about to leave, I stood up and while I was shaking the had of the first one, the second thing was that I found myself on the floor and both my friends are above my head trying to wake me up. 

I learned from them later that my legs starting shaking and my eyes rolled back and I fainted. Few days after that I found myself in an extremely bad mood which led to a strange case of continous crying without any obvious reason. If I want to label what happened I would say it was a case of depression that led such hysterical case of crying. 

Why did that happen? I led a life of perfect person that my parents expected and wanted. High Honor student, extracuruculum activities, social life…etc. Each parent had specific expectation that I found myself having to fulfil. It was not their fault, it was my wish to fulfil it. Being the obedient and loving person that wanted to be. That was my third year and on the threshold of my last year. Where I need to keep up while I can sense my body requesting to ease up. 

Until today I am not sure exactly the diagnosis of what I went through. But from what happened in later years I can say that this was my body warning me but I did not listen.

It would take another eight years when the first anxiety attack would show its face to me. Iwill till you all about it in my next post.

We will continually introduce material for you to better understand what is Anxiety. We will continue our research and bring you more information to cover as many aspects as possible of anxiety. Meanwhile you can check the list of materials and tools that we gathered for you to tackle and solve anxiety for yourself and others at: 

1- BusinessFountains Store: This is the main area of Anxiety Material that we are collecting.

2- Anxiety Self Help Library: This section mainly includes anxiety related audio books and other audio materials. Audio books are very useful when you don’t have time to read a book. For more audio book listings and categories you can go to our Audio Book Store.

3- What is Anxiety full article list

4- Anxiety Centre: We have decided to create this section since we are creating more and more channels that we want to give you access to which include anxiety information and solution programs. This area includes most of the above items and more. From now on Anxiety Centre will be the place that will include the items that we will ad for you whether it is a totally new channel or an item within a channel.

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 2nd, 2009 at 11:15 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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